"No one will understand what you really went through. No one could understand what happened to your body last week."
On Saturday, the 18th, Aaron and I went to a 2nd birthday party of a friend of ours (well...their kid...but I like to think that he is our friend too). The party was at the zoo and I was excited to go. 1) To finally go to the Hogle Zoo 2) To celebrate and hang out with friends 3) Maybe walk this baby down into my birth canal so that we could get this party started.
I was successful on all counts.
When we left the zoo, I was starting to have slightly *painful contractions on and off until 1am Sunday morning.
*I'm struggling to say the word painful because in my Hypnobirthing class we were learning to use positive language so that birthing doesn't have to be a "painful" experience.
Oddly enough, Aaron and I had gone to sleep at 8:00pm when we got home from the party and I woke up at 10:30pm feeling like I couldn't get back to sleep. I woke Aaron up at 11:00pm and we went downstairs to watch Big Bang Theory.
Aaron started noticing that I was checking the time a lot. He asked what was up and I said that I was having contractions that were getting more and more intense. He asked how often. I told him that they were around 5 minutes apart.
At 1:06am, he joined in the game. We got a piece of paper and while we watched Big Bang Theory, we timed me.
4-6 minutes apart for nearly two hours.
Aaron wanted to rush to the hospital and get this show on the road. I told him that I wanted to try and labor as much as possible at home where I was more comfortable (I got that wish....I really really got that wish).
He went to sleep and I tried to rest. I was excited and felt full of adrenaline. This was everything that I wanted. I was in labor. I was having contractions. I was going to have a baby.
I tried to rest until 5 am. Then I got into the shower and let the warm water soothe some of the ache that had come with the contractions. It felt so good to be in warm water and it felt better to stand and labor.
I got out of the shower and went to the kitchen to make myself some Cream of Wheat. I knew that it was going to be a long day and I heard that while your in labor, hospitals are lame about letting you eat so I wanted to get a good meal in before I was just munching on the snacks from my own bag.
At 7:00am, I woke up Aaron and told him that he should probably get up and dressed so that we could head to the hospital. He got up and took a shower. We moved the dogs' cages into the kitchen. We texted parents to let them know what was going on and that we were headed to the hospital after a night of contractions. We texted people at church to let them know that we might not be there since we were headed to the hospital. We grabbed the bags and loaded up the car.
As we walked out the door, I hugged Aaron and said, "When we come back, we are going to have our little baby."
At the hospital, they took me into triage. Hooked me up to all the monitors and looked at my cervix.
One centimeter.
They watched the monitors and let us know that I WAS having contractions that lasted a minute and were about 4-5 minutes apart. I could have told them that, but I get that they have to find out for themselves.
Since I was only one centimeter so far, they didn't want to keep me. Which was fine with me because I didn't want to labor at the hospital while we waited. It was part of my birth plan to labor mostly at home. They told us that we should come back later in the day and see how much progress I had made. They recommended that we go for a walk to encourage my cervix.
We headed home and Aaron went to church to teach his lesson while I took a nap. People at church texted me asking what was going on. I had to tell them that we got set home.
"Oh, I had Braxton-Hicks contractions too!"
"Oh yeah, isn't it a bummer when you mistake it for the real thing?"
It's fine. They didn't understand that it wasn't Braxton-Hicks contractions. It was real. But we'll get into that later (you know, at the punch line of the story...when we find out the big WHY).
Aaron came home from church and we loaded up the dogs to go on an easy hike. A paved one mile path along a river here in Ogden.
We walked the full mile up and the full mile back. 2 miles of hiking wasn't so bad on me. I had walked a mile and a half to work and then back for a couple weeks during my last couple months there so it wasn't too hard on me. But the contractions increased to every 3 minutes. That made us very hopeful that we were getting somewhere.
Later that night, my mucus plug came out. Oh...TMI warning.... My mucus plug came out. Now we were really hopeful that we were getting somewhere.
I texted my mom and let her know that I lost my mucus plug and so she got a flight to come out on Tuesday so that we would be home from the hospital when she arrived.
At 8:00pm on Sunday, we headed back to the hospital to see how far I had come.
One centimeter.
"Oh yeah, I was stuck at three centimeters for a week. It's so frustrating waiting for labor to start."
The monitors showed that my contractions had increased to 3-4 minutes apart. But I still wasn't getting anywhere. At the present, they didn't have any idea why I would be contracting and not dilating. We actually got stuck there for two hours because apparently they can't unhook me unless they have 20 minutes of proof that the baby is awake and alright...and the monitor kept slipping off.
In the end all they said was "false labor" and sent me home.
Aaron went to sleep and I took a nice long relaxing warm bath. It felt wonderful. I played my relaxation CDs from my Hypnobirthing class. They soothed me. They helped me focus in on my birthing body and they helped me relax enough that I was comfortable.
I didn't sleep that whole night. I couldn't. Because every three to five minutes, I would have a contraction. With my relaxation methods, I at least was able to enter a calm resting state even if I wasn't asleep.
Monday is a blur to me. I have almost to recollection of that day. I was moving around like a zombie. Doing things but not really aware of doing things. Folding clothes, trying to clean, preparing the house for when the baby came but mostly trying to encourage my cervix to open and trying to labor in upright positions.
I know that at some point, we were at Wal-mart but for the life of me, I can't remember why. But when we walked out of the store, there was huge double rainbow. It reminded me of my wedding day and reminded me that my Heavenly Father loves me and is always watching over me. It cheered my soul.
By the end of the day, we texted a friend of ours to come over to help give me a blessing. If you aren't familiar with my faith, I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The men hold the priesthood, which is the power of God on earth, and they use it to heal the sick (among other things).
In the blessing, my husband reminded me that I'm loved and known by my Heavenly Father. He has a plan for me and He knows what I can handle and that Zach would be born at the right time.
That night my labor got more intense. I felt like this was finally progress.
Tuesday morning, we headed back to the hospital since I was hopeful that the increase of sensation meant we were getting somewhere. As we drove to the hospital "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri came on the radio. I took it as a good omen because it has been one of my favorite songs during this pregnancy. Because I feel like I've waited so long for this baby, and finally he is coming to me and I'm going to love him for a thousand years.
Hooked back up to the monitors. Sitting for an hour. Cervical check.
3 centimeters.
It sounded so awesome to hear that. I had opened up to 3 centimeters.
They wanted to make sure that I was progressing still so they had me walk the halls for 2 hours with Aaron. All hooked up and in a robe. Not because the wires were hooked up to anything....but because they didn't want to bother reattaching them...yeah...super comfortable.
After two hours, back to the bed to be hooked up to monitors. Cervical check.
3 centimeters.
And it was back home...actually, it was off to my OB/GYN since I had an appointment scheduled for that day anyway.
I was exhausted. It had been 3 days since I had last slept a full night and I was having labor pains now that I had completely lost focus on my relaxation.
Another cervical check. My OB/GYN told me that since I was at 3 centimeters, they could help me once I got to 39 weeks...Thursday. I only had to make it through 2 more days.
Then she asked me if I wanted her to do a sweep of my membranes. It isn't breaking the water...but maybe encourage it and at the very least, it would release hormones to increase the intensity of the labor. I said that that would be fine since it at least was something.
Basically sweeping the membranes is sticking her fingers up inside me...oh....TMI warning...and trying to separate the cervix from the amniotic sac by swirling her finger around a few times...it isn't comfortable. I would have liked a warning.
I screamed and just started sobbing...I was so exhausted and so frustrated. The contractions got worse and I couldn't calm down enough to focus on my relaxation.
We drove home with instructions to come back in a couple hours and I was to take a nap....yes....a nap.
I took a warm shower and tried to calm down. Every time a contraction came, all I could think to do was sing Primary songs to myself. All of "A Child's Prayer" could get me through a contraction...the whole first verse of "Abide With Me, Tis Ev'n Tide" sung slowly could get me through a whole contraction.
When we went back to the clinic, they did another cervical check.
3 centimeters.
At this point, I begged for drugs. Something to make me sleep...something to help me get to Thursday alive.
She wrote me a prescription. We got the drugs, headed home and I took them and mercifully, went to sleep.
I woke up when my mother arrived. Aaron had gone to get her from the airport while I was sleeping. When I saw my mom, I started crying. Like a little kid who fell down and scrapped her knee, I cried.
The next day, Aaron went to work and my mother took me to the clinic to see if anything had happened in the night.
Cervical check. Guess.
3 centimeters.
It was Wednesday. I only had to make it one more day. The doctor asked if I wanted to try another sweep of my membranes. I said no. I couldn't handle it again. Even on drugs. I couldn't handle it again.
My OB/GYN called the hospital to schedule an appointment for an induction. They said that they could take me as early as that night at 9:30.
I didn't have to wait till Thursday. I could wait till the end of Wednesday night.
My mom and I decided to go to Smith's to load up on groceries before I went into the hospital. As we walked around Smith's, my mom would pause and wait for me while I had contractions clinging onto the cart to stand. She said, "I'm scared that your water is going to break while we're in here. Those look intense."
While we loaded up the car, I started leaking amniotic fluid. My water didn't break...but enough to get me to the hospital a little early.
We waited for Aaron to get home from work and then all drove up together. As we drove away from the house, I thought of Sunday morning when I thought, "Next time I see this house, I'll have my baby." This time, I pleaded with God that that would be true.
Since they were expecting me already for later that day, they already had the room ready for me. Once I told them that I was leaking amniotic fluid, they took me into the room and confirmed that I was indeed leaking.
And finally....mercifully, induced me.
After being in labor for 3 days and 16 hours, I decided that with Pitocin, it was time to get an epidural.
Can I honestly say what a relief it was? It wasn't the labor that I had wanted. I wanted a natural birth but after trying that for 3 days and 16 hours, I'm not ashamed of myself.
What can I say about the next 19 hours? It was the most comfortable that I had been in days. Aaron, my mom, and my sister-in-law Dee were all in the room and we hung out. We laughed and talked and watched Surf's Up and tried to get some sleep. I nibbled on snacks to keep up my strength for the pushing.
Nurses came in and out to turn down the Pitocin. Apparently my contractions were so hard that it was distressing Zach...but turning it down slowed the process.
They discovered that my cervix was dilating lopsided. I was finally at 7 centimeters but an entire 3 centimeters on one side wasn't opening. Did you know that that can happen? I didn't.
Then the side that wasn't dilating swelled up and they were scared that it was my placenta separating from the uterus too early and coming out.
It wasn't...thank goodness.
They had to shut the Pitocin completely off to try and get the swelling to go down....which require more waiting....but they ruptured my membranes or "broke my water" to encourage the other side to open up.
Finally the swelling went down and the other side started to open.
Then came the pushing. Finally! The nurses said that they thought that it was going to be 2 hours and my OB/GYN said longer.
My mom and Aaron helped by holding my legs back and I thought happy thoughts and pushed with everything I had.
Truth be told, there was a lot of laughing going on. I was thinking about some of my friends and some funny videos we made of us being born...hard to explain...but it had me laughing.
When Zach was crowning, the nurses spiked his hair into a faux hawk. I thought that that was pretty hardcore. He was so hardcore that his first faux hawk was spiked with blood and amniotic fluid. That's how our family rolls.
In between contractions, the nurses asked about how Aaron and I meet. We told them our story and then we told them about how long it took us to even get pregnant with Zach and how excited we were to meet him. I started crying...I was so happy that we were so close. There was a lot of love in the room.
Pretty soon, we were back to laughing though.
In 45 minutes, I was ready to push him out and my OB/GYN came in. The nurses told her that in two or three pushes, he would be out. She didn't believe them...she thought it would be a lot longer.
I proved them all wrong. I got him out in one.
On May 23, 2013 at 12:19pm, my son was finally here.
He was face up...Which suddenly made my mom understand something I said to her on Tuesday. "Mom, why do my legs hurt so bad when I'm having a contraction? I understand my back hurting because it is labor and it isn't suppose to be comfortable but I didn't expect my legs to hurt so much."
Back labor. I was having back labor because his face was facing the wrong direction.
It was a weird sensation. I waited for him to cry....it was pretty quiet. Apparently he was full of gunk. He had pooped before leaving me apparently and it had gotten in him and he was having problems breathing.
My mom told me that he had a CRAZY cone head. She did not lie.
That was another clue to the doctor about what had happened to me.
It felt like forever until they put him on my chest.
The first thing that I said to my son, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that that took so long."
Looking at his head made me want to cry. I feel so guilty even though there is no permanent damage.
This is them trying to take some vitals while he was on me. I didn't want to let him go.
I'm crying in this picture because I was so happy that I finally got my baby. No matter what, he was there and he was mine for forever.
He kept moaning and moaning so they took him away from me so that they could check him out. I would have been moaning too if my head looked like that.
Please note that the bump was on the side of his head.
Here is what happened. Saturday at the zoo, Zach entered my birth canal with his head at all angle. It told my body to go into labor.
But my cervix didn't get the memo. His head wasn't up against it the right way so my cervix wouldn't engage and start to open. My body was trying and trying but couldn't get my cervix to go along. That's also why my cervix was opening lopsided once they started the Pitocin. It was opening where his head was and wasn't opening where his head wasn't.
My mom's a little miffed that no one knew what was happening to me and that no one could help me for so long but after being in labor for 4 days and 11 hours, I finally had my baby boy....so....what else matters?
