Christmas in California

On Thursday, the 20th, Aaron and I got a ride to the airport from some good friends in Ogden.  It was really nice because we got to stop and have dinner with them at a restaurant before heading out and we LOVE their family.

The airport, of course, was awesome....yeah.  By awesome, I mean, totally uneventful.  The flight was an hour late leaving, but I brought the movie Brave with me and so I wasn't too phased by the whole thing.  We even got to take a northern route to land the plane which meant that we got to watch downtown Oakland go passed.  That was awesome since we got to see the Oakland temple all lite up from the sky.

We got picked up by Mike, my father-in-law, and Grandma Reinert in Oakland and headed to Fremont.  We mostly talked about the baby and names.

I wrote a good chunk on this post and it didn't save for some reason....so I'm going to do a really brief overview.

Friday, the 21st, we mostly hung out at home and did some Christmas shopping and some gift wrapping.  At night we headed to the temple.  It was all decked out for Christmas and looked amazing.  I would have taken some pictures but it was dark and raining.  I should have pulled out my waterproof camera.

(If you click the picture it will take you to the flickr account of whoever I stole this from!)

I was so happy that Aaron and I were able to go through the Oakland temple again.  We have been in this temple 3 times this year!  We got to go through for the first time in April and that was really exciting then we watched a sealing ceremony in September.  It's been a good year for us and this temple.

Saturday, the 22nd, Aaron and I did more Christmas shopping.  We hadn't done any shopping before Christmas so we were in a bit of a rush to get presents ready for everyone.

Then DEE!!!!  My sister-in-law, Dee, finally got there to hang out and party with us!  She is one of my faves!  We spent the night talking and trying to plan what we would do for the cake craft night that Barb had for us to do the next day.

Sunday!!  It was really awesome going to Aaron's parent's ward on Sunday.  They had a beautiful musical program prepared for Christmas.  It was simply delightful.  Their choir was HUGE and they also had the children sing a couple songs with them.  Plus it was really fun to see how many people I remembered from our wedding and other trips out to this area. 

After church was a glorious snuggly nap time with Aaron on the couch while he watched football...and also napped.  I love a good cuddle with Aaron...and it is getting harder the bigger I get, so it was a treat.

When we woke up from our naps, Barb had iced our cake and gotten it ready to decorate.  Dee and I had a lot of fun with it.

These are our trees on "snow capped mountains"...very Christmas-y.

We were playing on Barb's Cake Cricut if you were wondering.  I had never used a Cricut before and thought that it was pretty cool that there was one for cake decorations.

Who is this dark Christmas figure?

The ghost of Christmas future!  Telling you to not be a Christmas grump or you will die alone with no one to think or care about you after you are gone.  You know...from the extremely cheery tale, "A Christmas Carol".  Thank you Charles Dickens.

And on the top of the cake, a red sled.  ...Rose Bud?  Probably not.

We got to craft with some Reinert family friends.  It was a Girl's Day and it was lots of fun to laugh and craft.

Afterwards, Dee and I worked on some cookies that were going to be delivered to people.

Decorating sugar cookies makes me feel like a little kid...I love it.  We made a bunch of green frosting for all of our Christmas trees.  Which meant not any other color for our "gingerbread" men.

So...they were aliens instead. 

Christmas...

The next day was Christmas Eve!  Yeah!  I was having a particularly...stretched out...day.  My ab muscles were having a horrible time expanding and I wasn't feeling that great.  Unfortunately that was a good majority of the trip.  But my father-in-law suggested a walk to help the muscles out.

That sounded like some good advice since I was suppose to be getting some exercise anyway.  Aaron came with me and we walked around the neighborhood where he grew up.  It was fun to get to go on a walk with Aaron and it did help take my mind off the stretching.

While we were walking, we found these in a neighbor's yard as decorations.

Which...believe it or not...reminds me of Christmas.  Warm Christmases like I used to know.  Where white sands glistened and I could listen to hear jet skis on the waves...I've been missing Thailand more and more.  Especially around Christmas time.  Christmas is so different in Asia.

Anyway, that night, we headed over to more Reinert family friends.  The Bosko's are awesome.  They are the ones who hosted our California reception 3 and a half years ago.  Christmas Eve dinner was amazing with them!  And for the first time in...ever...I couldn't stop eating.  It felt so good to just pack it all in.  I couldn't get enough of the salad that my mother-in-law made!  When I finally stopped eating that, I started snacking on fudge.

Please enjoy this super flattering photo of me.  I really enjoy the boob sagging over the belt...classic.

I didn't want to have to keep getting up from the couch for fudge...so I put it on my lap.  Wow, writing that out really made me realize what a fattie I was that night.

Aside from the amazing food, there was also some pretty great company.  It was fun sitting around joking and laughing with friends and family.  We even got to watch this cute little kitty exploring the wonders of a Christmas tree.

Quote of the evening from Katrina, "If you get electrocuted, you will be very sad."  I said that when the kitty was chewing on the wires to the lights.  I felt that it was a poor choice.

The next day was Christmas!! YEAH!!! I didn't wake up till 10:00am when Daniel called FROM FRANCE! My brother Daniel is on an LDS mission to Paris, France and so it was amazing to get to hear from him...even though he has only been gone for 3 months.  He told us about some interesting food that he's eaten over there and what it has been like being out in the field.  I got to tell him that we are having a baby boy since he hadn't gotten the news (in the form of a letter and pictures) in the mail yet.  It was a great way to start off Christmas morning.

After the phone call, was breakfast!  Yummy french toast!

Then PRESENTS!  Aaron made his sister and I "stockings" which was really sweet of him.  On of Dee's stocking presents was some "piggies" with Angry Birds.

I had a ton of fun making all the different piggie faces.

And we had a little fun making a mess with them in the living room.  Hopefully Dee will have some fun with them with her friends in Provo.

The rest of the vacation is kind of a blur.  The next day we went to lunch with a friend from Provo who also has family in the area.  We went to IKEA with her since Aaron and I needed to look for some stuff for our house.

And the 27th, we flew back home.  It was a whirlwind trip but it was good to get to see Aaron's family and California for a 3rd time this year.

Nursery: The Beginning

I know, I'm only in my 17th week but I'm already thinking about organizing the nursery...a little excessive.  But I'm finally feeling healthy and I want to capitalize on that as much as possible.

The only thing that I've done so far, is clear out the guest bedroom (soon to be nursery) closet and start putting the baby things that I already have in there.  I bought a closet organizer and thanks to my wonderful friends, I already have adorable tiny baby things to put in it.

Along with the blue balloons on Saturday, the box had a little onesie, tiny shoes, socks, hand mitts, and a baby plush elephant rattle.

Check out the little socks and hand mittens!  They are doggie themed (along with the shoes)...which is perfect since our son is going to inherit two dogs when he is born.

Other than that, I'm taking it really slow in getting the nursery ready for the baby. I still have more than half way to go so it is alright to take things a step at a time. But I'm already thinking ahead to a theme for the nursery. I'm a HUGE fan of classic Winnie-the-Pooh and I hope my son enjoys the Hundred Acre Woods with me.

Little Baby Movements

I've been waiting and waiting and waiting (it seemed like) to feel this little baby moving inside of me.

On December 4th, I felt something weird behind and a little lower than my belly button.  It was like 3 distinct little taps coming from the inside of me.

I thought, "What the heck was that?" Then I remembered that I was pregnant and I wondered...could that have been the baby?

I was only 14 weeks and 5 days...and I had hear of second time mother's feeling movement that soon since they knew what to feel for...but I wondered if that could have been it.

Nothing else happened for a couple days.  Then I felt another tap a little lower down...and again, I wondered.

For the passed 4 days, I felt movement at least once a day.  I've tried to tell my friends about it but they all seemed unimpressed and unconvinced.  Some of the men even told me it was probably just gas...because they would know?

Last night, it was finally unmistakable.  It was happening SO MUCH.  This baby was moving around like crazy!  Probably because I was laying pretty still in bed not moving.

I would feel a couple little taps in one area...then a weird...I don't even know how to describe...it was kind of like when you can feel something moving through your intestines.  Not an intense feeling, not a hurting feeling but a....shifting?  I don't know.  Then after about 5 minutes, more little taps somewhere else.

IT WAS AMAZING.

My favorites (and the strongest kicks) were when I rolled on my side to go to sleep and I put my arm around Aaron and had my stomach on his back.  Over the course of 5 minutes there were 4 different kicks to Aaron's back.  I bet that even if Aaron was awake, he couldn't have felt it....they weren't THAT strong.

I know that some women get sick of the movement, and I might get to that point in a couple months when space becomes more cramped...but right now.  I love it.  It is my favorite thing and I look forward to when I get to feel my baby every day.

Sharing Time: Jesus Christ is the Light and Life of the World

Unfortunately a flu seems to be moving around the Primary Presidency...and I have no problem with those that are infected staying AWAY from me.

But that meant that I got to surprise teach Sharing Time again only two weeks after the last time.  No big deal, I like teaching.

The important doctrine that was outlined was that "Jesus Christ is the Light and Life of the World."  I had the Senior Primary read some scriptures for us from the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ that different prophets wrote prophesying the coming of Christ.

For those of you who might not know, the Book of Mormon takes place in the America's starting about 600 years before Christ's birth and goes until about 420 years after his birth. Since they weren't anywhere near Bethlehem it was important to them that they knew when Christ was born.  Signs were given so that there would be no mistaking it.

The signs of his birth would be a day and a night and a day where the light in the sky stayed as bright as the noon day sun.

The signs for his death would be darkness that lasted for 3 days.

When Jesus came into the world, light was the sign and when he died, darkness was the sign.

In John 8:12 it reads, "Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life."

Jesus brought light to the world in the form of knowledge and truth.  If we follow his example, we will never walk in darkness.  We won't wonder around in life looking for direction.  If we do get lost, we can stop and ask our Heavenly Father for direction.

I asked the children what were some things that Jesus has given us that brings light and truth into our lives.  Some answers that I got:

*Scriptures

*Family

*Church

*The Holy Ghost

and my personal favorite....

Hope.

I asked the girl what Jesus gave her hope for and she said, "He gives me hope that I can live with my family forever in Heaven."

Perfect.  Absolutely perfect.  9 years old and she is already hoping to be able to spend forever with her family.  I gave her a hug because that filled me with hope.  Hope that these kids are gaining testimonies of their own and they are understanding the important and wonderful message of the Gospel.

Then I gave them an assignment.  I asked them to color a picture or write on this picture what THEY could do to bring light into this world.

The world can be a very dark place.  Last Friday was a reminder of that fact.  Horrible things are happening all around us in the world and we need to bring light into the world.  I testify that all of us are born with the light of Christ in us.  We are born into light.  We can cultivate that light and we can fill the world with it.  We can also extinguish it.  We can extinguish it in ourselves and we can try and extinguish it is others.

We need to be a force for good.  I would encourage all of us to think about what we can do to bring light into our world.

Gender Reveal Party

Since this pregnancy took so long to actually happen, I've planned out EVERYTHING.  And one thing that I KNEW I wanted to do was to have a fun gender reveal.  I didn't want to just find out in the clinic during the ultrasound, but I didn't want to wait till I had the baby either.  I saw a TON of cute ideas on Pinterest and decided that I wanted to have a gender reveal party.

Yesterday Aaron and I went to the clinic for our 4th ultrasound (I'm so blessed/cursed to get so many...I'm glad I get to see the baby so awesome but sad because it is because we were such high risk at the beginning).

I told the doctor that we didn't want to know the gender but wanted her to put the information down on a little card that my sister made a couple years ago.  She put the ultrasound pictures in the envelope (and recorded the ultrasound on DVD since we couldn't watch...since I'm pretty good at reading ultrasounds) and closed it up.

When Geoff, Clarise, Andy, and Kaitlyn came over, I gave them the envelope and they went away to get the baby some gender specific presents.

At 5:45am this morning, both Aaron and I were awake and Aaron asked, "Are you awake because you are so excited?"

And I said, "No.  My stomach muscles are being stretched out and it hurts."

Then Aaron said, "Oh....I'm just excited."

He is so cute.  He is also really sweet to let me do this because he really wanted to just find out as soon as possible...but he played along, because he is wonderful.

The morning came and so did my friends.  I wish that some family could have made it out here too for the big reveal but they were scattered around (and Daniel is going to find out in a fun way all the way in France).  But we had tons of friends over....I was scared we wouldn't have enough room in the house.

Both of us with our mouths' wide open in surprise!

This is what we saw in the box!  Along with being silly stringed and tons of little presents for our little one!

We are going to have a little baby boy running around next Christmas!!

Unapologetically Pregnant

I have an infertility blog.  I've had one for nearly 3 years.  Reading other people's blogs helped me deal with some of my feelings and help me realize that I wasn't alone and it added some validity to those feelings.

I've gotten to know the infertility community pretty well in the passed couple years and one thing that is universally hard to deal with, is everyone else's "happily ever after".  Seeing friends posting their pregnancy announcements.  Seeing them post baby bump pictures.  Sharing every single detail.

It was hard for me to deal with sometimes.  Even when it was happening to someone who had the same struggles as me.  In my uncharitable moments I would think, "When will that be me?  When is it my turn?"

Don't get me wrong (because I know some of you don't know me that well).  I was super happy for my friends.  Over the moon in some cases.

But it was hard.  How couldn't it be hard?

I wasn't mad at them or angry or resentful.  I was genuinely happy for them and excited to meet their children and share that joy.  But I was a little sad for me.

Now that I'm pregnant, it is hard for me not to flood every social media with my every thought and feeling.

Yet, there is a nagging voice in the back of my head saying, "Don't over do it.  There are people out there who might be having a hard time with this."

I've decided that the safest place for these thoughts and feelings would be my blog.  Anyone who might be having a hard time with my pregnancy can skip over these entries and avoid all the baby creating madness and I can be unapologetically excited in my "condition".

On that note, 15 Weeks baby bump.

"I have two brains in me...."

"...and I've never felt stupider."

That was a quote from last weeks episode of Modern Family.  Right now one of the characters, Gloria, is pregnant and she has a horrible case of pregnancy brain.

I don't know whether it was because I was tired....or malnourished ..or just plain shut my brain off, but I scared myself in the grocery store the other day.

I was shopping for food with Aaron...which is rare lately because I've been so sick.  I was starting to feel low and dragging.  I wanted to speed up the trip.  Since we had already passed the aisle with the Boost and Ensure (I need them so that I can get nutrients in me at least once a day) I decided to go back to get it alone.  Aaron would go on shopping so that we could get done faster.

I walked over to the aisle and looked at pricing and picked the one I thought was best.  I grabbed my item and started walking to the check out.

In the time that I left Aaron and walked over to this other aisle, I completely and utterly FORGOT THAT I WAS IN THE STORE WITH AARON.

I walked to the check out.

It was then that I realized.....I DON'T HAVE MY WALLET.

Now I was irritated.  I would have to put this back and go back home to get my wallet.

Then I panicked....how would I get home?!  Aaron has the car!!

Thank goodness that it was then I remembered....I came WITH Aaron to the store!  Oh good...

I rushed around looking for Aaron (because it never came back to me that I left him in the frozen food aisle) and I was so relieved when I found him.

"I forgot you were in the store", I said before I could stop myself.

"What?  What do you mean?  We've been here for the last half hour."

Only then did I realize....I WAS SO BRAIN DEAD.  If I had run into a kind looking stranger....I could have been kidnapped.  I was literally SO SPACEY that I would have gone home with someone else if they just talked nice to me and sounded like they had a plan.

Or...less intensely, I could have paid for my purchase (had I been carrying my wallet) and walked home....and not even thought about Aaron until later.

I'll try and follow Claire's advice and try to actively keep my brain turned on.

My First Sharing Time

Part of my new calling as the 2nd counselor in the Primary presidency, includes teaching ALL of the children on Sunday at least once a month (for the time being....next year we are planning on doing things a little differently).  I was most excited for this part because I LOVE teaching...children especially.

We are given a manual to follow for the year so that all the children in all the world are receiving the same guidance and learning.  Like a world wide curriculum.

Each week there is a main objective to be taught and the month all ties together with a central theme...which is tied to an overarching yearly theme.

My main objective for this week was to talk to them about the importance of Jesus being sent to earth, namely, so that as an adult he could atone for our sins and die for us.  If we didn't have Christmas, we wouldn't have Easter...and then we wouldn't have the Atonement and a way back to live with our Heavenly Father.

I started by telling them 5 simple concepts to think about that would lead their minds through the idea of this concept.

*Heavenly Father sent His Son to earth.

*He came as a baby.

*He grew up like you and me.

* Because he loved us, He died for us.

*Because He was resurrected, we will live again!

I passed out paper (to the older class, called Senior primary) and pictures (to the younger class, called Junior primary) to color different parts of the Nativity story.  So that we could tell the story with some awesome visuals.  I'll show you the Junior primary pictures.  They are classic.

First, I told them the story of Mary and Joseph going on a long trip to Bethleham and  Mary was about to have a baby. (Which prompted one small child to yell, "YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE A BABY!"  and I said, "I am...but my baby isn't Jesus."

Mary had her baby in a stable.

Mary: colored by a 6 year old

Joseph: colored by other 6 year olds

They saw fit to make it so when you turned it around, it looked like he was holding a heart.

Baby Jesus: colored by 4 year old (with some help from his teacher)

Donkey: expertly colored by a little 4 year old boy (coloring in the lines was important to him)

Meanwhile, shepherds were watching their flocks by night and an angel came to them and told them to follow a star to wear baby Jesus was.  At first they were afraid but the angels told them not to fear because they were bringing them good tidings of great joy.

Star: colored by 7 year olds (they didn't get to finish coloring the sky which disappointed them)

Shepard: colored by 4 year olds

Sheep: colored by 4 year old girls (I'm assuming that this is what Old Testament's Joseph's technicolored dream coat was made out of)  

Angels: colored by 6 year old boy (who also wanted to include his own star and baby Jesus...overachiever)

The most important part of this story for the children to know was the story of the wisemen.  The wisemen went looking for the baby Jesus and before they found him, they met King Herod.  King Herod heard that they were looking for a "king" and he didn't like that...because he didn't want anyone making him not king.  He told the wisemen to find baby Jesus and then come back to tell him so that he could "worship" the baby too.  The wisemen had a dream that they shouldn't go back to King Herod.  They found baby Jesus but they didn't tell King Herod where they found Jesus.

If they had told King Herod, than Jesus would have been killed before he could atone for our sins and we wouldn't have the Atonement to help us repent and go back to live with Heavenly Father.

Wisemen: colored by 7 year old girls

Wiseman and Camel: colored by 5 year olds

I think that I'm really going to like this part of my calling.  It is a little hard to change the lesson enough to interest 11-8 year olds and then also interest the 7-3 year olds.  But it is my opportunity to teach kids instead of the adults...so I'll take it.  Hopefully I will enjoy all aspects of my calling but right now, it is still the children.

Buying Things For Baby

After losing two pregnancies and a failed adoption....I've been super scared to start buying things.

When we were planning on adopting this little girl, I bought a bunch of little baby girl clothes.  After about a year of holding onto them like a sad magpie, I sent them to a friend of mine who was having a baby girl.

This has happened a couple times with baby clothes.  I find something cute and think, "I will need this someday".  Then someone gets pregnant and I inevitably give the clothes to them.

Once we got to 12 weeks and we saw that the baby was growing into a person and one who was sticking around...I started to get braver.  This might actually happen!?  I might actually have a baby in the house in 6 months.

While we were going some grocery shopping, I found a stacking toy for 6+ month olds and I bought it.  I couldn't help myself.  I wanted to fill my house with baby toys (even though countless numbers of unromantic people want me to start buying diapers...I'll get to it when I get to it)!

I wanted all the baby things!!  But I stopped myself at one stacking toy.  I mean, I realized after doing the math, that this toy would be perfect for when we have a 6 month old NEXT Christmas.  That's right, I'm already Christmas shopping for next year.

When I hit 14 weeks....I got really excited.  Dang...this baby is really stuck in there.

While we were at the DI, on Thursday, looking for some other cheap finds, I couldn't help myself.  I started looking at the baby clothes.  Aaron said that we didn't know if it was a boy or a girl yet so we should wait.

I explained to him the concept of "gender neutral" clothing and continues pawing through the racks.  Plus, my theme for my baby is Winnie the Pooh so I couldn't just pass this up.  Because Winnie the Pooh stuff is EXPENSIVE!!!

Then I found this precious little newborn top.  I call Aaron my "teddy bear" and so I can just imagine that this new little cub will love his/her big teddy bear daddy.

Besides ultrasounds, nothing makes this pregnancy more real to me than buying things for our baby.  I'm completely in love with this little one and it makes me so excited to actively get stuff ready to welcome this new person into our lives.

When I'm a little braver....I might start making a registry.  But not yet...I'm not ready.

Thanksgiving & The After Party

*This blog is kind of my online journal...and this entry contains a lot of barf....since that is what I've been doing recently.  I do apologize.*

Now that the world knows my big and glorious secret (I'm totally knocked up), I can confess that the holidays so far have been kind of a bust for me personally.  But that doesn't mean that I didn't have a good time with my family and friends.

For Thanksgiving, we (the Grant Anderson kids and spouses) were invited to my Uncle Brian's house for festivities.

After personally having a glorious morning of barfing into the bushes in my yard, in front of Aaron, my brother, and some neighbors ("It's 11am....is that lady drunk already?"), we headed off to my uncle's house.

The food was amazing and the company was exquisite.  We got to sit at the "kids' table" with my cousins....all of us were 19 and older...but it felt like the kids table since we were devoid of parents.  We talked and laughed for hours while we ate.  Well...they ate.  I nibbled and tried to take it easy.  But not on the jello....I ate lots of jello.

I took zero pictures since I was spending my time sitting and trying to remain as still as possible.  So you don't get any visuals.  But if I did, you would have gotten pictures of all of us laughing and telling stories with very animated gestures.  It was a wonderful day

The next day was my Thanksgiving After Party.  For the pasted two months I've had this thought in my head, "I'm sure I will be feeling better by next week."  I would keep planning parties...because that is how I celebrate the holidays....and I would have to cancel them since I couldn't get the house clean or activities put together or food prepared....or get out of bed.

I tried to take Friday morning really slow so that I would be able to enjoy the party.  But I still spent it with a bucket.  Most of the time, I was in the middle of having a conversation with my brother.  Finally in exasperation he said, "What are you throwing up!?!  You haven't eaten anything yet!!!"

Because of the constant barfing, Aaron and Markus did EVERYTHING to get ready for the party.  Aaron made the stuffing, got the turkey in the oven, cleaned the house up, and started preparing everything that we would be eating.  Markus helped Aaron with anything he needed.  They even made my mother's eggnog that I love so much.

I got off the couch ONCE to take pictures of the food and the lovely hands that prepared it....so that I at least documented a tiny portion of the day.

I hope you enjoyed.  Those are the only pictures of the day. And they are all excellent quality images also.

My favorite people came over to celebrate.  Michelle, Daniel, and Leo Harnish showed up for the main party which was actually perfect because that was about all the people that I could handle.  At the end of the day Geoff, Clarise, and Kaitlyn came and we celebrated again.

Again, tons of talking and tons of fun.  Michelle was great to talk to about pregnancy.  It is amazing how different my perceptions of pregnancy are now that I've made it a third of the way into a pregnancy.  I can understand pregnant people on a level that I didn't even realize that I was missing out on.

When I tell people who haven't been pregnant that Aaron's breathing makes me gag...they don't get it.  They think his breath is bad.  His breath isn't bad....but the air that is coming out of his lungs....has a smell or something that I can't deal with.  But Michelle, totally gets it.

Leo is still scared of my dogs...which I totally get.  They are small and they move fast and knock into things while they are spazzing out.  I would want to avoid them at his size too.  So the puppies spent the day in their rooms feeling sorry for themselves.

Geoff, Clarise, and Kaitlyn distracted me with Youtube videos and let me relax on the couch.

And Clarise FINALLY got to see me throw up.  I think that she thought that I was making it all up or something.  It also makes her happy to know that my body has got hormones happening.  She laughs at my pain.  But I'm glad that I could give her an early Christmas present.

That was my holiday.  I kept nothing in me the whole two days.  I lost two pounds.  But I got to visit with people and talk about my baby dreams and laugh and have a great time.  So I guess this holiday was a success.

The Big News: Third Times the Charm

*What you are about to read is my excuse for not getting ANYTHING done in the last 2 months.

Well, as you likely know from my Facebook page, I'm pregnant.  I thought that for people who are interested, I would tell you the whole story (well...not the WHOLE story...you might have to use some of your imagination for that...but please don't).

As most of you know, I had my second miscarriage in May.   We decided that we were going to take a break from the medications and the diets.  I was going to focus on school and work and when we were ready again, start trying.

The more I worked with kids at the preschool and the more that I watched this little baby in our ward in the morning...the more I felt that I needed to start trying again.  I tried to get use to that idea because I wasn't eager to risk losing another baby.

About this time, children at church started to realize something....The Reinerts don't have any kids...but they have been in our ward for a long time.  All of a sudden, we had children asking us in their innocence, "Why don't you have any kids?" "Do you want to have kids?" "When are you going to have kids?" "Where are your kids?"

I would tell them, Aaron and I would love to have children but Heavenly Father must not want us to have them right now.  Maybe you could pray and ask Him about it because we won't have kids till Heavenly Father will give us one.

I thought....more prayers couldn't hurt....especially not prayers asked with complete and innocent faith.

Meanwhile, I got a cold at the beginning of September, right after getting back from the wedding in California.  And it kept lingering.  I was so tired and I slept all the time.  And I was getting nauseous in the mornings and my abs felt like they were cramping and stretching.

If I didn't know any better, I would have thought that I was pregnant since this was how I felt earlier in the year when I was pregnant.

But I couldn't be.  Because I wasn't on any medication AND I wasn't on my diet.  So....this must be a really bad cold, right?  Those children at the preschool must be coated in germs!  When would I get immune to them?

General Conference came and I was praying hard to know what Heavenly Father wanted me to do with my time while I waited for children to join our family. I wanted to know what I should focus on in school.  And I was praying to know what He thought would be the best path for me.  I'd been praying this all semester and I didn't feel like I was getting an answer.

Saturday morning Elder Shayne M. Bowen spoke about his feelings about losing a child and his sorrow.  His words were so comforting to hear.  "The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again."

"I have not been robbed but rather that there was a great blessing awaiting me if I would prove faithful."

Was this the answer to my prayers?  Or were the words of comfort to keep me holding out hope for kids in the future?

That night, Aaron and I talked about what we wanted to do.  We decided to pray on whether we wanted to try adoption or try more medication.  Either way, I called and made an appointment to see my doctor so that we could see what the next step would be.

Then I took a pregnancy test...because I had to before I start any medication.

It is ALWAYS negative.

Or.........................wait............................WHAT?!?!

Okay...that couldn't be right.  There must be something wrong with the test because it says that I'm pregnant...which makes NO SENSE.  I couldn't be pregnant.

I walked into the bedroom....dazed.  I told Aaron, "Ummmmmm....so...something a bit weird happened.  I'm pregnant...or something."

"Wait....are you being serious right now?"

"I....think so?"

"What do you mean, "you think so"? What did the test say?"

"It says that I'm pregnant but I can't be....so...I don't know."

I decided to take another test the next day....because...obviously something went wrong.

The second and third test were both positive on Sunday morning.  My parents came over to watch conference with us and I said, "Oh...sorry the house isn't that clean.  I've been sick...or, I guess.....I'm pregnant."

Both my parents turned to me, "Wait.....REALLY?"

I told them what happened.  They promised to pray for us but we were all a little reserved since I've been pregnant before and my chance of a miscarriage was about 66%

I called the Clinic Monday morning to change my appointment from an infertility consultation to an ultrasound appointment.

"How far along do you think you are?"

"I have no idea...this was a bit of a surprise."

"When did your last cycle start?"

"I think in July...but I can't be THAT pregnant."

That was an awkward conversation. 

Our first appointment was on October 12th to see what the heck was going on.

Apparently, this little person was going on.  It turns out, I was pregnant.  I didn't believe it till I saw this.

Yeah....what is that?  It is a picture of a 7 week and 1 day embryo.  I saw the heart beating immediately on the screen....it was a living little person.  We got to hear the heartbeat which is always really nice.  An added tender mercy was that I have never been this far along before....and since I didn't know that I was pregnant for so long, I hadn't been worrying about.

Thank goodness!  Because I would have been a WRECK waiting to pass the milestone date of the last one.

But I still wasn't completely sold.  I had heard a heart beat before and it didn't guarantee a baby.  I was still skeptical.

The barfing though...that was a good sign.  SO MUCH BARFING!!!  I nicknamed the baby "Smalls" so that when I was barfing I could say, "You're killin' me, Smalls!" (quote from The Sandlot)

My next appointment was on the 26th of October.  Since I was high risk, they wanted to see me in two weeks to make sure the baby was still there...and I'm not patient so I didn't mind not having to wait a month.

Two weeks late, look how much more like a baby this little one was looking.  That thing in the black blob?  At the top of that thing in the blob? That's a head!  You always want the baby to have a head.  I don't know why it looks like it is wearing an elf hat though.  And you can see the little back and arm nubs.  Everyone needs arm nubs.

I was starting to get excited....this baby had made it 9 whole weeks without dying.  That's really awesome!!

Around this time, the barfing got so bad that I had to stop working.  Some days I couldn't stop throwing up long enough to get to work.  And sometimes I would get to work and keep running to a trash can to throw up.  The kids weren't getting the best me and I couldn't be consistent with anything.  I'm probably going back in January though...when the barfing will hopefully be a thing of the past.

And all of October was ruined of festivity for me since I was spending all of my time in bed...with a bucket.  Luckily Geoff and my brother came to help us put up Halloween decorations.  Our Halloween was really lame this year.  No parties.  No festivities.  Hardly even costumes. We just sat at home and passed out candy to kids....that was the extent of the celebrating.

On November 16th, we had our next appointment.  Only 3 weeks since the last one.  This doctor didn't really want to let me out of her sight...which is good for me.

12 weeks and 1 day....starting to look like a baby!!!  Aaron was amazed at how much like a baby this little one is starting to get!  I've got to say that I am too.  It has gotten so cute in the last 5 weeks.

Here is a picture that I labeled in case it is too hard to tell what things are.

After 12 weeks, my risk of miscarriage has dropped down to 0.5% and I was brave enough to tell people our good news.  And I could finally admit to myself that 

AARON AND I ARE GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!!!

So get ready because I'm about to get OBNOXIOUS up in this blog!!!