And now as I said concerning faith—faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.
Aaron and I have been kind of sitting on a secret the whole time that I've been pregnant.
My blood pressure has been TERRIBLE.
We knew that I was at a slightly raised risk of preeclampsia to begin with, since I got it the last week that I was pregnant with Zach. At my 16 week appointment my blood pressure was high. The doctor explained to me that if a woman has high blood pressure before week 20 of her pregnancy, she is very likely to develop preeclampsia at some point but the hope was to avoid it for as long as possible. He told me to put myself in a low stress environment and to avoid anything that would elevate my blood pressure.
That weekend, we did this.
Pizza PARTY!! Oh yeah....and sold our house and moved our family to a different state. NO STRESS!
But seriously, that weekend, we literally went from the doctor's office into the car and drove back up to Utah to pack up our house. We hadn't told anyone (except family) that we were pregnant but we decided to tell people who were helping us move because...I wasn't allowed to pick up any boxes or do anything to help. I felt like such a goob watching all these wonderful people help me pack up while I didn't look pregnant AT ALL. Let alone, too pregnant to help. But, doctor's orders.
We had a mini gender reveal party while we were in town, with the people who came to help us pack.
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| Look at that cute family! We went downhill fast! |
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| Look at that great number!! |
I had been told to monitor my blood pressures at home so that we could track to see how I was doing. Once we moved into our apartment, my blood pressures started to improve. IT WAS A MIRACLE! Hahaha, but seriously, I was in a stable low stress environment and so things were looking up for this pregnancy.
My mom was the first to have the dream. She had a dream that I had my baby in December and that we couldn't come up to have Christmas in Utah. Then Aaron had the dream and he woke up in a start and looked over at me and my belly...just to make sure. A couple of my friends told me that they had had a dream that I had my baby early.
Then I had a dream that I had the baby so fast that she was hurt and had to be in the NICU for awhile. It was a little weird to me but considering Zach went to week 41 and took me 4 days to get out...A baby coming out TOO FAST wasn't one of my concerns.
We started to relax.
Oh...until this.
You know....November 18th...the day my husband could have died. Yeah...it did not do good things to my blood pressure.
That night while I was at the hospital with Aaron, my feet and hands swelled up. It's an early sign of preeclampsia and I knew that. But once Aaron's parents got into town, I went and rested. The swelling went down and my doctor's appointment was two days later. My blood pressure was raised but not terrible. Not danger range. No protein in the urine.
But our daughter was measuring small. About a month small. But all of her organs were developed and appeared to be functioning perfectly for her gestational age. It was just a VERY long appointment measuring every possible thing to make sure that all was well.
Aaron's situation was constantly in flux and so many people were helping us, praying for us, and reminding me to "take care of myself." No joke. I was TRYING really hard to take care of myself. But it was hard. There were a lot of days were I would swell up or get headaches that wouldn't go away with medication...signs that I knew were bad but I would just lay down and wait for them to clear up on their own.
December 11th, I had another appointment with my doctor. Blood pressure was bad. My OB/GYN knew about the hospital situation with Aaron but when I didn't have protein in my urine he told me that he thought that blood pressure was definitely related to my stressful life at the moment. He told me to monitor my blood pressure and if it was consistently 140/90, I needed to come back in. And he reminded me to take care of myself and to try and relax.
Sure buddy...I'll get right on that relaxing thing.
December 15th, was suppose to be Aaron's final surgery. BUT IT WASN'T. Again, Facebook stalkers might remember that that day Aaron was suppose to get surgery but once again, they changed the date at the last minute and I was on the war path.
Before I got to the hospital my blood pressure was 160/118....in case you didn't know, THAT'S REALLY BAD. I totally swelled up. But by the end of the day, my blood pressure improved and I had complained to a good many people and had been listened to so all was well...the swelling went down and on the 17th, Aaron got the long awaited surgery.
This is Aaron before surgery. You can tell because he had the energy to be silly.
That night and for a couple days afterwards, I was on and off swollen. But I couldn't help it. I was at Aaron's bedside worried sick. The surgery hadn't really gone as well as we had hoped and we were playing a very stressful waiting game with Aaron's body.
But by Christmas time, things were looking up (maybe some day I'll write about our Christmas day). Aaron was on full liquids (he could eat PUDDING!) and my family came to town for the holidays.
Christmas day my blood pressure was terrible starting from the moment I woke up on my hospital cot. I tried to take it easy while we waited for my parents and brothers to come over with Zach.
It was an interesting day. I told my parents about how my blood pressure had been and so once the presents were unwrapped, they packed up everything and left so that I could take a much needed nap.
I woke up a couple hours later. The whole left side of my body was numb. My left leg and left arm were so swollen that they had gone numb. That's...not good.
But it was Christmas and I didn't want to go to the doctor. Because in my mind, that makes logical sense.
I went home and ate dinner with my family. Bathed my son and put him to bed. Had a Skype call with my sister and her spouse and then went to bed. I was exhausted....I was sore...I had TERRIBLE blood pressure.
The next morning my mom came over and asked how my blood pressure was. Still bad. She told me that she was cancelling her plane ticket back to Thailand. She didn't think that I would make it to February 9th. I tested my blood pressure again and it was still in the danger range. I called my doctor's office. They advised that I go to Summerlin Hospital to get checked out. They had a better NICU than the hospital Aaron was at. I figured that it would be good to look around another hospital and see if I wanted to have my baby there....maybe get a tour of the place. I was so naive.
While they monitored my blood pressure, tested my urine for protein, and ran some blood tests my mom and I talked and laughed and got this picture of me in a hospital gown...you know...to show Aaron that we got to be matchy-matchy for a little while.
The nurse came back into the room and I asked, "So, we're free to go now?"
"No. We're admitting you."
"Are you joking?"
"Why would I be joking? You have had some terrible blood pressures."
Even though I was upset that they were admitting me (for what I felt was not a whole lot of reason) I was so relieved that my family was in town because I didn't have to worry for a second about who was going to take care of my son. With Aaron in the hospital and now me admitted...the poor kid was a little temporary orphan....a temporary orphan that got to have a sleep over with his two uncles.
They showed me to my room and told me that my blood pressures were showing severe preeclampsia but my urine was just showing mild preeclampsia and so they wanted to monitor me for 24 hours to make sure that I didn't develop severe preeclampsia in the coming hours.
Because, fun fact, once you have preeclampsia, it only gets worse until you can get the human out.
I was told that if my blood pressures stayed low, I might get to go home on bed rest. If things looked bad, I would be at the hospital till I delivered.
I prepared for the worst.
Just kidding, I totally goofed off.
I sent silly pictures to my friends and joked on Facebook about how Aaron made the hospital look so fun so I decided to get myself checked in.
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| Please note how fun and swollen my nose gets when I'm pregnant. |
The OB/GYN on call came in to talk to me. He said that I definitely had preeclampsia and that they needed to give me a shot of steroids to help Sydney work on her lung development because I would need to be induced around weeks 36-37 since with preeclampsia, your body is slowly becoming more toxic for you and the baby.
A nurse came in and said, "Have you ever had a steroid shot before?"
"No."
"This is going to burn. And it is going in your butt cheek."
Excellent.
When I texted my friends about this, one of them replied, "Well, with Aaron in the hospital for the last couple months, this is probably the first time your butt has gotten any attention in awhile."
We were all taking this....very....seriously.
The morning of the 27th, I texted my dad and told him that I wanted a priesthood blessing before he went back to Thailand. I knew that I wouldn't get the chance to get another blessing from him before my baby came since he lived so far away. I was hoping to be out of the hospital that evening since my blood pressures had been really good the night before but it would still be too late to see my dad and brothers before they left for Utah.
The blessing was extremely comforting.
I was blessed that through my faith, I would be able to see miracles happen. That my daughter would come into the world when the Lord wanted her too. I was reminded that the Lord is mindful of me and that His timing is for my good and I was blessed that I would be able to see that.
I was blessed that I would be able to have time to rest and relax away from what was happening with Aaron and that I needed to trust that Aaron and Zach would be taken care of while I was away.
The blessing also included that our daughter would be born healthy and strong and that she would thrive.
While most of this wasn't what I wanted to hear. It was very comforting. I didn't want to hear that I would be away from Aaron and Zach. But I felt very relieved.
They left to go say good bye to Aaron at his hospital. I was bummed that my last two days that I could have spent with them, I had been in the hospital.
It helped that they left pumpkin pie....which was the last thing that I got to eat before things took a turn.
About 10 minutes after my dad and brothers left, the doctor came in to check up on me. Every 8 hours, they would put a monitor on my stomach and track my babies vitals for at least 20-40 minutes. They noticed that when I had a Braxton-Hicks contraction, her vitals would drop. She was also showing a very low level of activity. So the doctor brought an ultrasound machine in to check it out.
It turns out that amniotic fluid is important....and that I didn't have much of it anymore. The doctor told me that I wasn't going anywhere. They would try to give me fluids to try and increase the amount but with preeclampsia, it would probably go to swelling up my body.
They put my baby bump on continual monitoring and it quickly became clear that my baby was not doing okay. I had about 3 Braxton-Hicks contractions in an hour and a half and her cord would get compressed and her vitals would drop. It was unnerving to say the least when I would feel the contractions coming and look up at the screen and the line on the monitor drop off.
After the first one, the nurses rushed in and pulled an oxygen mask over my face.
Of course I took a picture to send to my friends, being like, "Dude...crap is going down at this hospital." Because...I'm very mature. Plus, I could still hear the words my dad had spoken earlier that day. My daughter would be healthy and strong. And even though I had no proof that that was true, I had faith.
I know what that means. That means they are thinking about operating.
"Is the doctor thinking about a c section? Is that why I can't eat?"
"He's considering it, yes."
About 10 minutes he came in, "Your daughter is in distress. We are going to need to do..."
"A c section. I understand. That's fine."
It felt crazy saying those words. I didn't want a c section. I've never wanted a c section. I don't like hospitals. I don't like being cut open. And I wanted to give birth vaginally.
But I knew that if I was induced, every contraction would crush my daughter. Amniotic fluid is protection and she had nothing. The blessing said to trust the Lord's timing. And if she needed to come right now than the Lord must need her to come right now. I only needed to have faith.
I called my mom and told her what was happening. She immediately left to drop off my son with my cousin...but the surgery was happening right now and she didn't know if she would be able to make it.
I tried to call Aaron while a nurse shaved my nethers. He didn't answer.
Nurses were all around me. Putting on leg compressors. Putting on socks. Giving me antibiotics. Giving me anti-nausea medications (since I had recently eating some delicious pumpkin pie). The whole time, they were telling me how sorry they were. They all knew that my husband was in the hospital. They knew that I was all alone.
The NICU director came in and gave me a brief overview of why she was there and what they were going to be doing once the baby came out. She asked me if I had a name for our daughter. I told her that my husband and I thought that we had more time. She told me that she was sorry that he wasn't there.
Dr. Patel came in. My anesthesiologist. He asked, "Okay, who is coming in with you? I want to tell you what all is going to happen."
"No one is coming in with me."
"What? Where is the dad?"
One of the nurses replied before me.
"He's at another hospital."
"Wait...he went to the wrong hospital?"
"No...he's admitted into another hospital. He just has surgery on his colon."
Dr. Patel looked down at me. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"
Oddly, I was. It was all happening so fast and I felt okay about it.
My phone rang and I quickly picked it up in case it was Aaron.
"Hi. This is Brother Rowe from church. I just wanted to see how you and Aaron are doing this week?"
"I'm about to have a c section...actually."
"Oh...sorry. Congratulations. I'll go. Bye."
Poor man came to visit me in the hospital the next day and brought the sacrament.
Right before they wheeled me out of the room, I got a hold of Aaron.
"Aaron, I'm having a c section right now. The baby isn't okay in me. We're having our baby."
"Okay....I love you. I wish that I could be there with you."
"I know. I love you too. I have to go. Bye."
"Bye."
As I hung up the phone, all the nurses were looking at me.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine."
Dr. Patel stuck his head back into the room.
"Okay, let's go."
They wheeled me into the surgery suite. And I moved onto the operating table slowly and in a daze. I felt like a little kid all of a sudden. I just didn't want to be there. I kept thinking, "I don't want to do this now. I don't feel good. I want to leave." But the rational part of me knew that I couldn't and I leaned over, holding onto a nurse, while Dr. Patel put in the spinal block. Holding onto the nurse, I remembered getting my epidural with Zachary and holding onto Aaron. I wished that he was there being the one that I was holding. The nurse kept telling me she was sorry and asking if I was okay.
When Dr. Patel was done, I laid down and just let my whole body go limp and relax.....a little too relaxed.
My top half apparently wasn't suppose to look so relaxed and my eyes were closed and I was doing my meditations. He thought something had gone wrong with the spinal block...sorry Dr. Patel. I was just very very relaxed....something I've learned from hypnobirthing...you know...because I wanted to try a natural birth.
The whole experience was extremely surreal once I lost feeling below my chest. But after some weird pressure down there, Dr.Patel said, "They have her out. Oh, she has the cord around her neck."
After a little bit and some suction noses, my little girl started crying...loud.
Once I heard that, all of my worrying was over. I called over the blue divider that was over my chest, "I'm sorry little angel. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry" has been the first thing that I've said to both of my children. The first was because he was stuck for so long and the second because my body was killing her.
Dr. Patel asked the doctor, "Where is the amniotic fluid?" Such a good question....such a good question. I don't know what it normally looks like down there but apparently I wasn't as moist as usual.
The NICU director came over to tell me what was going on.
"You have a healthy little girl. She is crying really well so we think she won't need oxygen. She's very small though. Very small for her gestational age. She's only 3lbs. Once we have her checked out, we'll bring her over to you."
It was funny to me because he was almost warning me about what I was going to see. But I wasn't worried. I already knew she would be healthy and that she would strive.
And then my little angel was brought over. She was wrapped in a blanket and wearing a hat and her tiny little face was sticking out of the hat and she looked grumpy. She looked so cute and grumpy...like her brother did when he first came out. They brought her close enough to snuggle my face into her and I told her that I loved her.
Then she was off to the NICU and Dr. Patel gave me some super happy drugs.
And that is how Sydney Elizabeth Reinert came into the world. Exactly when the Lord wanted her to and so far, she is healthy and strong. And thriving.
*Blog Post on the Excellent Timing of Her Birth and Post About Why We Chose Her Name are coming soon!
Love you, love this, love her name
ReplyDeleteshe's beautiful!!
ReplyDeleteCried as I read this. You are an amazing example and I am so glad to know you!
ReplyDelete