This is my 6th year doing this wonderful "letter to myself" tradition! I'm so happy every new year that I started this back in 2010 because it is THE BEST to review my year. Every year I can't believe how fast it goes by...I really can't. I know that it is cliche but...yeah...it's a cliche for a reason.
This year, I'm going to be a little bit more lax with my format. I hope that you'll forgive me because I really don't have the energy for the old way at the moment. We'll see.
Dear 2015 Katrina,
You did it! I don't know what you did...but YOU DID IT. And I'm proud of you. Because chances are, life threw some stuff at you this year. I feel like every year, I've entered it totally naive. Which is good. I think that maybe if we could see in front of us sometimes, we would be too terrified to move. I think that if I had known all that would happen in 2014, that's what I would have done. I would have been too petrified to move forward because I wouldn't know if I could handle it all.
But I could. I did. I can do hard things.
I don't want to do hard things. Let's be clear. I don't want to have to do hard things. I don't want to stretch myself and grow. But I have to. We all do. SO, I'm proud of you because I'm sure that you faced all of that in 2015 with grace...and a bit of crying (because it's healthy).
My questions about 2014!
I want to hear all about how much Zach has grown and all of the things that he can do now! Is he sleeping through the night yet?
YES! He sleeps through the night (mostly)!! It has been a long tough process with that little guy but I'm happy that we slowly figured something out...because that was seriously the toughest thing for 18 months.
But he is so grown up! He can tell Bambi to go to her room when she tries to steal his cookies! He can fold his arms for prayers. He can eat with a fork and spoon (ish). He can make me laugh all day long. He go down his slide all by himself. And say a few words. He learns more and more every single day and he becomes a more amazing child every single day. As he learns more, I get to do more with him like play with pine cones and feathers and dig in the rocks. OH HE LOVES ROCKS!
I could write about Zachary ALL DAY. I love being his mother. I'm so extremely blessed.
Have you started feeling like he needs a brother or sister?
Funny that you should ask that Katrina from 2013. Finally when Zachary was about 10 months old and he started sleeping through the night, I started feeling like we were ready for another baby. Aaron has been ready since Zach was 6 months old but I needed some sleep. Aaron and I talked about it and decided that when Zach was a year old, we would start trying again.
And by the grace of God, we got pregnant that first month. I couldn't believe it. It took 3 years with Zach and one month for Lizzy.
Oh yeah, her middle name is Elizabeth...and she is already here. I can't believe that in May we started trying and on December 27th, our little Lizzy came into the world. That is a story for another day. But in answer to the question, yes...I feel like giving Zach a baby sister...and she is here and beautiful and feisty.
What is your favorite mother/son thing to do together?
I love to sit outside and watch Zach dig in the rocks....and color with chalk. Oh, and I love to play one of his instruments and watch him dance and dance and dance. That boy has got some mad dance skills. And of course, I LOVE reading him stories. He loves to have stories read to him and I love doing it.
What fun things do Aaron and you get to do? Did you move?
Aaron and I moved to LAS VEGAS THIS YEAR!! We started looking for jobs around the United States at different military bases and Aaron got several job offers but there weren't any more appealing to us that the job in Las Vegas. Aaron has gotten to fly in a Blackhawk Helicopter for this project and so he is pretty in love with his job. We came down in May and spent the summer. We were able to do a couple fun things this summer in between all of my barfing.
But when it comes to fun things that Aaron and I got to do this year, there is nothing that comes close to the last 6 weeks. Well...I wouldn't say that it was fun....but it has been an amazing thing for our relationship. Aaron just got released from the hospital yesterday after being in there for 6 weeks and he still has a TON of healing to do.
The reason that I say "there is nothing that comes close" is because I'm getting to date my husband all over again. We are getting to go back to some of the roots of our relationship when it first started. We've also learned to love each other in such a new way and appreciate different things about each other. It is hard to describe how our relationship has changed but it has. There wasn't anything particularly wrong in any huge way with our marriage before. But this challenge by its very nature is bringing out some of the best in us, while being our worst trial.
We feel like Las Vegas is exactly where we needed to be for all of this to happen and the timing couldn't have been any better. We have seen the Lord's hand in our lives. Helping us grow and also protecting us.
Overview of Goals:
1) Spiritual Book
I had a couple book related goals. One of them was to read at least one book a month. I was pretty good until about July when I got really sick from being pregnant but I tried to do a lot of reading. I read half of the Doctrine and Covenants along with the Institute Manual chapters along with it. I read two books on Buddhism that I'm going to count also. All truth is light and it comes from the same eternal source. It has also helped me with my goal of embracing experiences and not objects. It has been an important theme for me as we've moved to a very materialistic city.
2) Going to the Temple
Once again...I have disappointed myself. BUT I'm going to do a very gracious thing and forgive myself and try and keep moving forward.
3)Rid the House of Nonessential and Embrace Experiences
2013 Katrina...I love you for putting this on your list of goals. It really helped us when we moved and I think that I can keep doing better in the area. I'm happier and happier with fewer and fewer things. I'm buying or making toys for Zach that encourage imagination play instead of filling our home with commercial goods. I'm finding less and less that I find important enough to clutter my life and I'm finding peace in that.
I try and think of fun things to DO with my son instead of fun things to give him. As a result, I have tons of wonderful memories of this year playing with Zach and I'm super excited for the next year too.
4)Get the House in Selling Order
Done!! Totally did it! Gone! NO LOOKING BACK! I was so ready to be out of Ogden and somewhere warmer. I'm so thrilled for this new adventure. I think that it will lead to a ton of new growth and opportunity for Aaron and I. I'm so happy to be in Las Vegas.
In my journal, I also had a private goal to read more books (as I mentioned above) which I TOTALLY did. Towards the end of the year as we got busier with moving and health drama, I got worse at it but at least I kept reading my scriptures and other mind enlarging and enlightening articles. It is easier when they are on my phone.
I also had a goal to work more on my photography. Unfortunately, that hobby was kind of lost in the shuffle of moving and being a mother. I regret nothing...except that I wish I took more pictures of Zach.
My last goal was to write in my journal more. I was A CHAMP. I've done a great job of that. It has been very therapeutic for me all summer long and into the recent episode of trials. I can't wait to keep up the good work.
Questions for 2015:
I'm almost scared to ask...How long did it take for Aaron's wounds to heal? Did they? Is this still going on? I know that it can be a long processes and sometimes take years of working on it. How is Lizzy? What did you name her? Hahaha! So much is up in the air right now in our lives. I feel like 2015 will be filled with so many wonderful things but chances are, a lot of tough stuff too.
Did you get to take your wonderful family to Thailand? Or are we still waiting for that wonderful day?
What is Lizzy's personality like? How does Zach like being a big brother? What fun things are they both up to now?
Goals for 2015:
* Go to the temple once a month. Okay...I'm going to DO IT IF IT KILLS ME! I'm at least going to go 12 times this year. That way, I can give myself some leeway when a month gets busy.
* Hop back on that book a month goal!
* Keep writing in that journal.
* Finish the Shutterfly books of your marriage! Come on! You are a couple years behind but you know that you will cherish them FOREVER!!
* Take a million photos of your babies!! These two might be the only ones that you get now so you need to make every single moment count! Don't look backwards wishing for more! Look forward to every single moment you have with these two beautiful children!
It would be easy to say, "Good Riddance" to 2014. But I refuse. I know that we had a lot of trials and stress (seriously...it is almost not even believable at this point...I'm pretty sure that most of the people we know think it is a scam for money or something). But I'm grateful for all of it. I'm becoming a better person. I don't think that it is too vain to say. Heavenly Father's plan for us is to become better and better with each year. If that means that we have to face bigger and bigger trials...I guess that that is how it is suppose to be and I trust Him.
I'm tempted to say "Bring On 2015" but I will be quite honest. I'm feeling very apprehensive. But I can do hard things. And there is no moving backwards. Only forwards.
Good night 2014 Katrina! You were strong, courageous and loving! I applaud you! May you walk bravely into a beautiful 2015. I believe in you!
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