When I was pregnant with Zach, Aaron worried about if he would make a good dad. He wanted desperately to be a good dad but he was nervous because he felt so inexperienced, as so many first time parents do.
I told him that in our society it seems like as long as you are paying child support, you're considered a "good" dad. I told him that I knew he would be a great dad. He would be involved and loving. He wouldn't dump his responsibilities on someone else and he would do his share.
And from the moment I gave birth to Zach, that's how Aaron has been. He was suddenly an expert swaddler. He could burp a baby. He could change diapers and find matching outfits (which I don't seem to have a knack for). He felt like he missed out at bedtime because I would nurse Zach before bed and he couldn't do that. So we decided he could be in charge of bathtime. And as Zach stopped nursing, Aaron got to do more and more at bedtime.
When Zach was 6 months old, Aaron wanted to have another baby. He loved being a dad. I vetoed that for another 6 months since I needed to get more sleep at night.
When I was sick from being pregnant again, Aaron picked up all the slack he could. He would get Zach up and dressed and fed breakfast in the morning and the second he came home from work, he was playing with Zach and would get him supper and bathed and off to bed.
Then he started to hurt. He thought he'd pulled a muscle. He couldn't get down and play at well with Zach. He started having problems picking Zach up. He couldnt have Zach sit on his lap during story time and pretty soon he couldnt do anything with Zach. Aaron would come home from work and lay down in bed and hold really still. He was miserable as Zach tried to play with him or get him to read a book.
Then Aaron was in the hospital, desperately trying to get Zach to come close to his bed. It broke my heart watching him try to convince Zach to come close to him.
When Aaron was learning to walk again, his goal was to be able to catch up with Zach.
As Aaron started feeling better he would feed Zach pudding or applesauce from the hospital fridge. He would have Zach sit in bed with him and they would watch Thomas the train together.
The lowest day, when Aaron felt the most despair at being trapped in the hospital was when they moved him into a shared room. Aaron couldn't have children visitors. He wouldn't get to see Zach and he didn't know for how long. Luckily, it was only a few days and the doctors had him moved.
His daughter was born across town without him. He couldn't see her for two weeks because he wasn't strong enough. He wouldn't be able to handle the drive or the walk up to her room.
But when he got to hold her for the first time, he was so thrilled. This was the second baby he had wanted since Zach was 6 months old. He held her as close as he could and fed her her bottle. He wanted to pick out the perfect name for her.
He's been trying to do more and more everyday to get to full involvement in the lives of his kids.
Since the moment Aaron got to be a dad, he has lived and breathed this job. He wants to do it right. He wants to be there for his kids.
So when people say a quick,"Happy Father's day! My husband is so good with our kids." I think of all Aaron does for us and how deeply he loves his kids and saying,"He's so great with our kids" won't cover it in the slightest. Aaron honors and respects and makes priority, he's calling as a father. And I'm so grateful that I was able to make him one. Because he is brilliant at it.
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